A letter written to a survivor to help her child:
What my mom would say to me or to my father (if she was alive).
I’m sorry that you had to endure such abuse and that no one was there for you. Unfortunately I had to leave this earth. I left your father in charge of you guys and he obviously didn’t do a good job. He actually didn’t think about you children. He thought that he could leave another adult in charge of you and trust them to treat you well. But that didn’t happen. He did not choose wisely.
Before I left I did instill morals and ethics upon you. Hoping that you would use them when you needed them. I’m glad I did. I’m sorry that you had to use them right away in life after I left. But at least I gave them to you to use. I’m very proud of all of you. You have grown up to be wonderful humans and adults. You did not get any coping skills from your father. But I did notice that you developed them on you own. You all have been through a lot. None of which you should have been through. You were supposed to enjoy life take care of each other. I wanted the very best for all of you. I wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to be safe and free from corruption. I noticed that that did not happen either. I’m truly sorry that a lot of things happened to you in my absence.
When watching you kids, my heart sank seeing the abuse and crap that you had to endure. It broke my heart every day to not being able to stop the insane antics that occurred. I was with you while all of this was going on and I tried to comfort you when you cried. I don’t know if you felt my arms around you each time I tried to comfort you. But I was there in spirit. I cried when you were sexually assaulted. I wanted to take you away from all of that. My little girl should never had been put in those predicaments . No child should ever be. Your father should have been there for you protecting you but he was no were to be found. He did not do his job. Neither did his wife. I wish I was there for you but I could not. I was there again spiritually. Sometimes that is not enough. But I do hope you felt my presence. Grandma and Grandpa were there too. They were disgusted with your father. He should have seen or surveyed the household before making a move into that family. And he should have checked in on you kids to make sure that you were being treated well and fed well and clothed well. He should have done his job as a parent. He was too busy playing himself.
I remember hearing from you that “you could now be a kid” But that didn’t happen. The Adult in you continued to endure. Thank God because that is what got you through the years. I’ m so thankful that you did not conform to their ways. I remember you saying what is wrong with them. You felt it in your heart and soul. I’m proud of you for that.
I just want you to know that I was walking along side of you each and every day. I still am. I love you and miss you so much.
Your brother is very proud of you too. I hope that you can heal and continue to grow and celebrate life as it is meant to be. Enjoy your life from this day forward. You are a good person. I wish you lots of love and comfort. Love MOM.